You got growin' up to do.

Growing up.

I have heard much about it from the time I began understanding a language and transplanting information from short-term to a space of a greater capacity within the depths of my mind. People enjoy discussing it, as if they understand what it requires of them; as if they understand what it demands of others. The idea is familiar to me. Grow up. This means I will be able to claim more inches. I only wish. Surprise surprise. Maximum height is not equivalent to growing up. I'm not sure anyone every completes the process. Growing up means something different for everyone. I believe that everyone has problems and pitfalls that may be eliminated by growing up. 1 Corinthians 13:11(NLT) "When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things." NAS says "..when I became a man, I did away with childish things." So, we have one way to define growing up. Maybe we should all become men. Too bad God created a second gender and liked it that way. Am I taking this out of context? No, I'm being abstract. Or maybe I'm being difficult and ridiculous. Probably. But mostly I'm taking it out of context. Bear with me.

At this point in my life, for me personally, growing up is meaning a lot of things. It is meaning to respect my authority in all circumstances. Check out Romans 13. A whole chapter dedicated to people having a problem with authority. God knew we'd need that chapter. Read it more than once. Authority. Respect. Respect when I believe they are being rash, ludicrous, or, when I simply do not understand. This doesn't single-out parents. This means teachers, bosses, leaders, and government too. I know that God selected these people to fill a position in my life. In respecting them, I am respecting God. Otherwise I am living out verse 3 of Obadiah, and screaming in the face of my Creator. (3)The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rock, in your lofty dwelling, who say in your heart, "Who will bring me down to the ground?" News flash: God will. Oh hey, there's a verse for that. What's that? It just happens to be verse 4? (4)Though you soar aloft like the eagle , though your nest is set among the stars, from there I will bring you down, declares the Lord. Alright, I believe it necessary to draw attention to the fact that the Lord declares this. Don't mess with Him. Repect His plan.

Growing up is also meaning that college is near. Friends and families and families of friends and friends of those people and their families and their friends and basically everyone I know is nearing a fork in their little life road. Some friends have already left and others have little time until they move. In all honesty, this is the part that freaks me out the most. The realization that you are not a small child going through the motions of play anymore is unsettling. I don't want to grow up...but I do..but I don't....but really I do. This back and forth thought process is likely to cause motion sickness. Do not throw up in public. That is unattractive.

As I am learning about life and growing up I am realizing that nothing here is certain. I am realizing that all I can hold to is Jesus. Growing up comes in like a tornado. There are warnings, but let's get real: it's going to happen, regardless. So the tornado comes and picks everything up that you have. It takes it all, throws it around for a bit, causes a fair amount of damage, and then sets everything nicely back where it was found. Yeah right. The pieces of your life are now all over the world. Good luck finding them. So right now I'm being warned about this tornado and I know that it's out of my control. I don't know where my pieces will end up or if I'll ever find them again. I am okay with that. Really? Am I? Obviously that is a bold statement. It can't be true. Uhm, yes it can. Last time I checked, everything is possible with God. I didn't come to this point in my walk overnight. It has taken a long time and more doubt than I would like to admit. However, I can honestly say that I am okay with the aftermath of the tornado. People say that God is all they need, but I'm not sure that they ever fully fully fully believe it. I didn't. I've said my entire life that "God is in control." It was halfheartedly that I stated this. I didn't really trust God enough to say "take it all away." This time I'm serious. Take it all and give me more Jesus. I'm perfectly fine with that.


So basically I'm saying that my walk with God is perfect in every way and nothing will ever change that. Ha, wrong-o. What I am saying is that I trust Him. There will still be moments of second-guessing. I am sure of this. I am human. I am weak. I am learning. When your main focus is Jesus and you are going after Him with everything you possess, you will not be afraid. I am not afraid. This world has nothing for me. Give me Jesus. Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." I laugh and I giggle a lot. I do not fear the future. I would like to think that I am one tiny step further to becoming the Proverbs 31 woman for my husband, and ultimately for my Jesus.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

If you read all of this, I thank you and I applaud you. Reading is something of a lost art and you just demonstrated that there is hope for finding it again. Farewell, young heart.
Title inspired song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLVbp3JqlrU

Come Friday

Curtain drenched in sunset.

Today I am tired. 

My eyes reek of fatigue and plead for rest.

Wake up little eyes, you have work to do. 

Please focus.

Shed the blur. 

Dress yourselves in clarity.

Little eyes, be alert!

Refrain from wandering.

I need you here. 

Little eyes, be careful.

Rose-colored glasses are deceptive.

Undesirable attire. 

Do not be fooled.  

Fix yourselves on things unseen.

A scavenger hunt for the eternal. 

Cleanse yourselves with purity.

Relief is on the way.

Little eyes, one more thing:

Turn to Jesus.

If tomorrow is Friday...

Then that makes today.....beautiful.

The Seventh of the Second Month

Waiting for summer.

Today.
How beautiful.
Minimal amount of sleep.
3 hour lab.
The vortex mixer machine thing.
^^Made me so happy.
Lots of lab giggles.
Much joy.
Jesus overwhelms me.
Hallway lunches with beautiful friends.
2 exams now behind me.
Gone forever.
Home alas.
Extreme fatigue.
Yard full of sunshine.
Homework awaits me.
Like a dreaded elixir that will be of benefit.
I must face it.
In due time effort will be valued.
You reap what you sow.
Sow thoroughly.
I will.
Rain comes later.
Say yes to thai<3
Joy still overflows.
Today is beautiful.