A night without:
an assignment
the promised schedule of the following day
an obligation
the only chance I'll be able to sleep for a while
ect.
Last night never really ended.
The morning came without a defining moment that was blaring in my sleeping ears that a new day had begun.
Last night was for me.
My evening began with the best Christmas present I have ever recieved: 
A letter of gratitude.
A Christmas tree.
And the face of a boy that I love.
At the site of these I began to weep. I can't tell you when the last time was that I cried like I did when I received these things.
I hated myself for
where I was
what I had
and that I have wanted more.
I hated myself because I was here in America.
sitting on my bed.
in front of my laptop.
surrounded by my possessions.
and he was there.
Jesus calmed me.
He says that Lesther is as much as His child as I am and that he does not show favoritism among His children.
Lesther is in the hand of my Jesus.
Just like me.
And God has Him where He has Him for a reason.
This is one of the biggest challenges of my faith:
to trust God's justness.
My mind was not meant to understand it and this is where my faith steps in.
Still a challenge.
The night went on.
It was wonderful.
I cleaned my room
did two loads of laundry
I read
and I looked forward to coffee with a dear friend at 5:30 am.
I have yet to mention my favorite part of the night.
Or morning.
I couldn't tell the difference.
It was when I painted.
I painted my walls.
Not all of them.
Just enough....for now.
I painted flowers.
Two kinds:
first were the flowers of my imagination
and second, a small garden of flowers more likely to be seen by others and not just myself.
Although the memories of this may wander from my mind..
this night.morning.time. will not be forgotten by my walls.
This night was when my walls made friends with flowers.
How could they forget a new friend that never ceases to dance upon their surface..
4:30 rolled around and I had the pleasure of a long and hot shower.
I later found myself at around 5:30:
I was at Starbucks
sitting with a friend
drinking coffee
enjoying his company
his stories of Jesus
and a warm scone that we "waited so long for"
we talked and we laughed
we shared truth and life
and the best part was when we prayed.
that is always the best part.
we parted ways.
7:30 am found me:
still at Starbucks
sitting on a couch
on the patio
in front of the fire
watching the rain.
I went home and finally slept around 8am.
Not for long though
A movie-date was waiting on me
I watched
I rested
I loved.
between the end of this time and now I find a blur.
I don't remember much from the daylight.
I babysit now
Oh the joy of children
They are beautiful
It is dark again.
I put them to bed.
"Can I sleep in my chloset?"
Tonight, yes you can.
Only because I cannot find it in me to say no to your simple, adventurous request.
It's quiet now.
Night lives on.
This is lovely. You are lovely.
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